Saturday, 29 May 2010

Every so often

Once in a while you come across something that you've never done before, try it, and it gives you a rush that you'd never imagined. And then, all at once, you know it's what will make you happiest the rest of your life. Sometimes, we get the chance to pursue those things. Other times, we have to put them by to follow practical responsibilities. I wonder how much, hypothetical, wasted talent there is on earth in the past six thousand years, talent that could never get the chance to be used. Were there musicians greater than Handel and painters better than Da Vinci, or writers better than Shakespeare, and simply never had a way to prove it? Maybe they were illiterate, or didn't know what music was, but deep down they had talents that could have been used, if given the chance. I don't know. Of course, none of this is really possible, because what has happened did, and God's been running this place since the beginning and will see it through till the end. All the same, I do wonder...

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

What good is a vacation if you're too tired to stay up late?

That's my big question. Watched The Lovely Bones Monday night, and saw James Bond in The Man With the Golden Gun last night. Both were good films; but trying to keep my eyelids propped open until midnight was unbelievably difficult. In fact, impossible for a few brief moments.

This week we're on vacation, in a technical sense. My dad's off work, therefore so are all of us; and we're having fun...but I'm just so tired I can't even enjoy the ability to stay up. I get to about 11:30 and start fantasising about how good it's going to feel to lie down, close my eyes, and sleep until...8:36. Or however early my body forces me up.

And yes, this post is incredibly mundane, so if you've read it and feel like you just wasted a moment or two of your life, well, you're probably right.

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Over and Out

The play...

was fantastic.

What next?

We shall see, I suppose. I'd like to do another Shakespeare in some ways, but I'd like to try something else too. Onward, though, either way—it continues.

Friday, 21 May 2010

Let the Play Begin

The lights—dim; the audience—softens; the players—laugh quietly to themselves; then, all is one. Up, and to the stage—where the heat of the moment, the stage lights, the crowded room, brings the beads of sweat to the forehead, and the stomach trembles, wondering how much of your first line you'll forget. All at once, the music rises, the lights are set, you're on the stage, and there's no more time for thinking, or feeling—anything but the play.

And even as you savour each scene, wishing it would last a lifetime, you let the emotion rise to its peak as the audience drinks in the performances from every actor. For those brief two hours, it's the greatest escape you could have imagined: no where else is it possible to disappear so entirely into another life, another story. Not in film, nor on the page—only and ever on stage.

A few more hours, then; and with a glad heart, let the play begin!

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Gasp! was a bit of a breakthrough for me. Couldn't believe it. I bought my first pair of brand spankin' new jeans. And then? I bought my second.

Of course, they were on sale for 50% off, so I could almost justify it. Not quite, but enough to actually make the purchase. And to be honest, I like them. Quite a lot.

Funny thing about me, just to let you in on a little (big) secret. Even though I've, all my life, been going at all times against the flow, in the more recent years or months I've gradually begun to enjoy and prefer a few (though only a very few) modern styles when it comes to dressing and appearance. In that sense, I'm still going against the flow of my family and a lot of the people I see in my "circles", even if it means going with the flow of a lot of others. I'm a little weird like that; most of you probably know that. Still, I can't help it. It's...indelible. Haha. Ask me about that sometime, that word, indelible; it has its own story.

Monday, 17 May 2010


I miss the feel of fiction floating through my fingers, from mind to keyboard, keyboard to screen, screen to page, page back to mind.

A soft wind carried in the blink of summer's eye, drifting toward the west; a warm breath caught on its edge, the sun, at noon, until all is black again.

Whew. What in the world does what I wrote up there even mean??? You tell me, I've not the foggiest. It just sounded cool. So I wrote it down. Ever get that urge to write something that is simply aesthetic? The words may or may not have a lot of meaning if you look very deeply, but on the surface they sound stinkin' awesome.

So today was...well, a good day. Work was long, in the rain, and I had stomach cramps. That wasn't the good part. After I got back from work, though, I had a great hour-long phone call with the one I love, then an amazing 3-hour drama rehearsal, then got back, ate, and had another couple good conversations, one over the phone, one on chat, with, again, she-who-is-dearest-to-my-heart.

What makes a day good or bad? Is it the things that happen during it, the way you look at it, both, or none? I think it's each one of those options. To be a copper outer—"it all depends."

Okay, so lots of people know this about me. I'm a very responsible person. I take many things seriously. Too seriously, maybe. But I hate it. I hate having to take care of things that need taking care of, in their place, in order...I don't always like having a job, having pets that need me, responsibilities and commitments like the play I'm in right now; these things mean that I can't just jump up and run away. And it irks me. Like the dickens.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Softly sings the sparrow

I have had some of the best days of my life just the past few weeks. It's odd, because I wouldn't have thought it. But I feel more stress free right now than I have in a good while, discounting a few exceptions. There's a thousand things I'd like to do right now, besides using my time working and sleeping. But soon enough I'll take some time off, to get some other things done.

Monday, 3 May 2010


Long day at work today; slept for three and a half hours afterwards. Now I'm heading to bed again, for work in the morning. Had some stickiness come up with a facebook spammer virtually hacking my account (meaning they didn't need my password, they accessed it some other way) and posting things on most of my friend's walls. Just another reason I'm not real excited about the idea of facebook, despite the fact that I use it. Frequently.

I don't know; there are times when I just want to get rid of internet communication and live face to face. But there are too many people I love too much who live too far away to do that. I could move close to the ones I care about most, but even then I'd be neglecting others. The internet made our world big, and shrinking it back down is tough. I do, however, intend at least for some time to live without internet personally when I'm finished schooling, should I go to college. It's not that I have anything against anyone else using it. I just feel that it's one of those things I'm better living without for a time, either as a discipline for getting more things done elsewhere, or just a growing experience by living without. Ken?